I’ve begun to notice that towards the end of a fast, especially these longer ones, I tend to get a little irritable. If you’re one to speak too loud, spout nonsense, if you have personal hygiene issues, if you stand too close when you talk, if you think Michael Bay films are good, JJ Abram films are bad, or are just generally wrong, it’s quite possible that during the later hours of the days of August, I’m quietly looking for your devil horns. This isn’t to say that you’re not a douche, but that my general douchery tolerance threshold is much lower than your current douchiness output.
I say this not to have a go, unless of course you deserve it, in which case I do. But if you did deserve it, you’re probably a big enough douche to not realise it. So, to be safe, I would assume that you are, and that this is for you.
But I digress, I’m irritable after all (see above for details). Which might go someways to explaining my epic fast FAIL the other night.
I was with a friend at the station, going to grab a bite, the time being close to iftar and all. The tube pulls up, and despite my mate moving to let him off the carriage, this dude quite deliberately shoulder barges her out of his way.
Now I'm usually kind of mellow; the closest I’ve gotten to a fight in recent memory is to stand gormlessly by as two groups of kids beat the tar out of one another in front of me: I practically pulled out a bag of popcorn. Be it because of hunger, or a feeling a light-headedness (I had, moments earlier, been singing The Logical Song in helium voice to the passengers of the southbound Jubilee line), but before I know it, I’m shoving this guy back and getting in his face, now red-with-shame. Had my fellow passengers not pulled me back into the carriage, it would’ve ended in blows, though not particularly dangerous ones, given my given my state of exhaustion.
I say all this because fasting shouldn’t just about going hungry for a few hours. Something I want to be able to take away from this month is how to be patient and disciplined. Beating up on a dude really isn’t part of the plan, and it isn’t much of an excuse to say he deserved it. I came pretty close, and it may well be that what I did do is technically within the rules of fasting, but in my mind, I screwed up, and right at the finish line, to make things worse. That Ramadan has a lot to teach me is evident, and perhaps a little comforting that I’ve still a lot to learn.
Peace. x
I say this not to have a go, unless of course you deserve it, in which case I do. But if you did deserve it, you’re probably a big enough douche to not realise it. So, to be safe, I would assume that you are, and that this is for you.
But I digress, I’m irritable after all (see above for details). Which might go someways to explaining my epic fast FAIL the other night.
I was with a friend at the station, going to grab a bite, the time being close to iftar and all. The tube pulls up, and despite my mate moving to let him off the carriage, this dude quite deliberately shoulder barges her out of his way.
Now I'm usually kind of mellow; the closest I’ve gotten to a fight in recent memory is to stand gormlessly by as two groups of kids beat the tar out of one another in front of me: I practically pulled out a bag of popcorn. Be it because of hunger, or a feeling a light-headedness (I had, moments earlier, been singing The Logical Song in helium voice to the passengers of the southbound Jubilee line), but before I know it, I’m shoving this guy back and getting in his face, now red-with-shame. Had my fellow passengers not pulled me back into the carriage, it would’ve ended in blows, though not particularly dangerous ones, given my given my state of exhaustion.
I say all this because fasting shouldn’t just about going hungry for a few hours. Something I want to be able to take away from this month is how to be patient and disciplined. Beating up on a dude really isn’t part of the plan, and it isn’t much of an excuse to say he deserved it. I came pretty close, and it may well be that what I did do is technically within the rules of fasting, but in my mind, I screwed up, and right at the finish line, to make things worse. That Ramadan has a lot to teach me is evident, and perhaps a little comforting that I’ve still a lot to learn.
Peace. x
Amusing post (first couple of paragraphs at least), but jokes aside, admire your honesty in this post - thanks for sharing..
ReplyDeleteHope in the time since that tube journey that you're realising this month's goals